PPD song by Wade Bowen October 19, 2008

While catching up on Katherine Stones blog I went to the link of PPD song written by Wade Bowen. Katherine is collecting pictures of dad’s who’s wives suffered from PPD to be put together for a video to go with this song at a Postpartum Support International Benefit concert. Here is the link to Katherine’s site to check out the article and maybe even send her a picture.   http://www.postpartumprogress.typepad.com/ This is a wonderful opportunity to show off those husband or significant others who supported you through your dark days.

Here is the link to the video of the song so you can hear for yourself. I was moved by the emotion you could feel in the words.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bnh0EuexQE  He is just one more voice letting the world know that PPD is real. Stand up and take notice.

Where has the time gone? October 4, 2008

I am horrible at updating anything! This is some much like a journal that i start to feel like I don’t need the outlet and push it aside. But here is the update.  I haven’t done anything great for PPD lately. I am actually on a break from the PPD support page that I help moderate. Life had caught up to be and I needed my focus there. I still think daily about PPD and what I can do to make a difference. That is my goal in life is to make a difference. I know I have touched at least one mother since my journey began. And that feels amazing to know. But I want bigger! I want to help as many as I can. I want them to know that they are in no way alone on this journey; this wonderfully amazing journey that we call life.

The last few weeks my focus has been school and my 5 years old behavior issues at home and school. He is going through testing for ADHD. I will admit I am one of those people who thinks it is a bit over diagnoised and many kids are over medicated. But that being said, I do know it is a real issue and needs to be addressed. So now I struggle with having my son tested. I want help so I can help him. I want him to succeed in life. I know I am making the right choice by doing all of this. But I struggle with mommy guilt. All of this has brought out these feeling of failure. And I know anyone who reads this will understand those feelings. You feel as if you have let your child down. Like you haven’t done enough to make life easier for the. Austin is a trooper. He still loves school even if his behavior gets him in trouble. He understands why the teacher gets after him. I don;t want school to become unenjoyable. That is why we are dealing with it now.

The girls are doing great. Abi is still working on the solo walking. And Amaya is growing so quickly! Me, well, I am better today then I was three days ago. I let old habits take over and stuffed my feelings away. I had many unhealthy coping skills and they are so hard to break. But I am learning each day to keep using my new skills. The last months worth of stress has triggered my OCD. While my OCD is always there, I am able to manage life without much thought about the OCD. But now it is making me snippety when things are in just the right order. I have to have that order for me to feel in control when life is quickly spinning out of control.  So this is another obstacle that I must overcome and I will.  I am taking it day by day and moment by moment when needed. That is how we all get through life.

What a week July 31, 2008

I have been MIA for a little while. I decided to take a couple of days off of work last week. Last Monday was my Goo’s first birthday. It was nice to be home with the kids. But of course since I was on a mini vacation I had to get sick. I wound up with bronchitis and laryngitis. I got to the doctor early enough to catch it before it got bad. Now a week later I have a form of pink eye. When it rains it pours!

School has been keeping me busier than I expected. I am already on week two of my third class. I am taking Marriage and Family right now. Each class is one step closer to my goal. I know it will take a few years before I can start counseling, but until then I will just keep plugging away.

Now back to my “big girl”. I can’t believe my baby is one already. She is a spunky little thing. And I say little because she is only 17 lb. The kids are growing up so fast. Bubby will be starting kindergarten in a month. Those are new feelings to process. And Pie is really changing into a little girl. She is still a feisty toddler, but she is showing her motherly side towards Goo. It is cute to watch.

I still struggle at finding a balance between all the hats I wear. In time I will get the hang of it. Until then I will continue to just wing it!

Update July 18, 2008

Class two is done! Wow 5 weeks goes quickly. I haven’t had much time to do much else the past few weeks.

But I would like to pass on some info. Lauren Hale is going tech free for the weekend and raising money for PSI and PPD!! Here is a link to her site to go check it out!  http://www.unexpectedblessing.wordpress.com/ I have to give her credit, I don’t know how long I would make it!! Good Luck Lauren!

6th annual Postpartum Depression 5k walk/run July 10, 2008

I am have looking into Charleston SC for moving one of these days and was so excited to see that the Ruth Rhoden Craven foundation has an annual 5k walk. I didn’t realize how close they were to Charleston. That makes me want to move there even more to be part of this wonderful PPD environment. For more info on the walk you can go to their site; http://www.ppdsupport.org/.

Not only is there info on the walk, but they are a great site for PPD information. From tragedy came a wonderful foundation. They are worth supporting.

Guest Author! June 21, 2008

I am very excited to share with everyone that I was a guest author on June 20th on Katherine Stone’s amazing postpartum depression site. Here is the link http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/ .

Stop by and check it out if you get a chance!

 

Stefanie

Things I found helpful during PPD June 15, 2008

I thought I would write about a few things that helped me through PPD.

• Contacting my doctor
• Getting on medication
• Counseling (this was huge!)
• Medication changes
• A brief hospital stay
• sleeping
• allowing my husband to take charge
• going back to work
• doing things for myself
• taking a time out when I felt overwhelmed
• positive thought and reinforcements
• setting small achievable goals
• being honest with my feelings
• asking for help
• reminding myself that everyone has a bad day.

Some of the things that I did just for me included painting my nails, doing my hair, taking a long shower, reading a book, going for coffee, and taking a walk. Sometimes it is the little things that really help how you are feeling!

 

Stefanie

 

End of first class June 10, 2008

Today marks the completion of my first class. I have one assignment to turn in before midnight tonight. And I am struggling with it. It should be simple, a paper on ethics. But no, I must over think and stress myself out about it. I have great notes. I am just having trouble putting everything together in a logical order. It will be done tonight, maybe even completely written during lunch. Perfection is not realistic. I must keep reminding myself of all of this.

On the PPD front, I am passing through the two year mark. At this time two years ago I was struggling with depression, slowly slipping into that deep hole.  One year ago I was prepping myself for the anniversaries of my fall and preparing for the birth of my third child. Planning and coping. I wasn’t going to allow it to happen again. That is one of the wonderful things about going through PPD. You learn to plan for stress better. And in the end I was able to ward off almost all depression issues after number 3. Yes there was anxiety, but I think a lot of that, looking back, was the fear of PPD popping up and ruining what I had worked so hard to avoid. In the end things were great.  My two year mark comes with a sense of accomplishment. Look where I am! Finishing my first class, the end of the first year of school for my oldest (preschool), my middle child is 2 and preparing for the youngest to turn one.  The whole family  has come a long way.

In need of time June 4, 2008

Ever have those days where you wish you had more time? That has been most of my week. I created this blog in hopes of passing along PPD information. I wanted to get the word out and help other women in need. So far I have gotten my story out. That is a huge thing in itself. Putting myself out there for the whole world to see. But now I want to do more. I want to put more out there. There lies the time struggle. I am a mother of three, wife, full time worker, and just to make it fun, I am going back to school. So now I feel as though I am letting this slide.

I am going to try to post something PPD related at least once a week. Be it an article I read or some tips to get through this. There will be something here! For anyone reading this that is struggling right now, remember this too shall pass. Take it one day at a time.

Stefanie

a new stone in the path May 27, 2008

Amaya is now two. Wow how the time has flown. She is becoming such a lovely little girl. She amazes me more and more each day. It was this time two years ago that i first found the postpartum depression support page. And I am still there and loving it.

I have added more stones in my path of life. College. That is such a huge stepping stone. I am two weeks into online classes. It can be so overwhelming at times. I am trying to juggle work, kids, husband, household chores and classes. So days are better than others. I keep reminding myself that it will get easier once I am in classes longer. Just need to get my groove.  I am trying to pull my inspiration from other parts of my life besides my PPD journey. But that is what drives me the most. I have tons of passion, but most of it stems from my struggle and then trumiph over it all. Sometimes I wonder if there is more to me than that anymore. Do other things inspire me that much? I hate doing most of my research work on PPD. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression of me. Then again, PPD is what I want to work with. That is where I want my specialty to be. So of course I have to have more work there. (Had to work that through with myself!)

It is rather hard to have a focus for your practice if you don’t study and research it! I think I just figured out my research I need to do. I will look up the effects of PPD on children. I don’t have to write an actual paper, just do the research. Basically make a page showing your sources of information. So that will be where I will start.

Jeff and I have been talking more about moving. We are hoping when he completes his degree we will be able to. He is going to do web design and such. He loves computers, art and design. I am so excited for him! We are finally getting our educations.

Each new stone brings a new opportunity. I plan on adding as many stones as I can get.