I have known for a quite some time that I am overweight. I can lose 20 pounds but I seem to put it right back on. It depresses me to be overweight. I avoid pictures with my kids. I am not as active as I would like to be. I avoid doing certain activities because of my weight. This is not the life I want to live. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Everyday I say that today will be the day that I start working out and eating better. But then I have an excuse for not starting. I made myself a goal to be back in shape by 8/30/2013. That is my 10 year wedding anniversary. I want nothing more than to be healthy again. I want to be fit and be active again. I want to be involved in life. I need to stop using food as a crutch to my emotions. I need to allow myself to feel and release.
Step one will be to add exercise into my daily routine. I need to get moving. Exercise will give me energy to keep moving and up my calories burned. Step two is to decrease my calorie intake. I know I overeat. It has been a defense mechanism for a long time. Eat when I am bored, eat when I feel sad or mad. I need to stop. I need to listen to my body and only eat when I am hungry. Three meals and two snacks is what I need to do. And then step three, this might be the most important. I need to believe in me and believe that I can make these changes.
I need to rebuild my self-esteem. I need to have some self-esteem. I have always lacked self-esteem. There was always someone who I felt for better, pretty or skinnier than me. I need to love me and by loving me I can take back over my body. I can feel beautiful again. I need this. I need to do this for me. I need to do this for my kids. I need to feel better. I need to get moving.
